Jeremy's Clog

(19:10:17) Bcguitar33: i need a fresh rested brain
(19:10:24) Bcguitar33: if i keep grinding at this i'm gonna throw a tantrum
(19:10:55) x pj rockstar x: sometimes it's better to just walk away for a bit
(19:11:28) x pj rockstar x: life is like a pina colada
(19:11:30) x pj rockstar x: (hear me out on this one)
(19:11:56) x pj rockstar x: you throw the pina colada crap and ice in a blender, mix it up, and hope for a nice smooth yummy drink
(19:12:03) x pj rockstar x: but then you pour it and the fucker has chunks!
(19:12:21) x pj rockstar x: if you had only let it settle, then blended again, you could have enjoyed your goddamn drink! goddamn jesus H christ!
(19:12:23) x pj rockstar x: so walk away
(19:12:25) x pj rockstar x: and blend again later
(19:12:26) x pj rockstar x: hahaha
(19:12:30) x pj rockstar x: i'm thirsty

Just in case anybody actually reads this thing, I'm gonna put in a teaser for Bailey's site:

Bailey: god when i have a boyfriend/underage minor, one of our songs needs to be a nickleback song
Me: hahahaha
Me: i think nickleback works well for older girlfriend younger boyfriend
Me: i think it needs to be something a little more fucked for older boyfriend younger girlfriend
Me: and i'm not sure what it would be but i'm gonna think about it while i brb
Bailey: haha
Bailey: okay i'll think it over while i eat my lunch
Bailey: be back in a few
…
Bailey: i think a dude dating a high school girl would really love-

TO READ THE REST YOU HAVE TO GO TO BAILEY'S SITE! CLICK HERE DOOD

Th3DanMan: "Something wicked this way comes"
Th3DanMan: what's the a quote from?
Bcguitar33: shakespeare
Bcguitar33: your google fu is weak, my son
Th3DanMan: I know
Th3DanMan: Who killed the Minotaur?
Th3DanMan: Hercules or Theseus?
Bcguitar33: you're gonna have to learn to look things up
Bcguitar33: what're you gonna do when i'm dead?
Th3DanMan: laugh really hard
Bcguitar33: lol
Th3DanMan: and probably draw a cock on your face

rautiocination: for it to be a TRUE circle jerk there would need to be infinite participants
rautiocination: otherwise its just a polygon jerk

And then I asked the Lord, "What about this part, here? Where there are no footprints at all?"
"That, my son, is from when I tired too," he replied, "and Superman carried us both."

I met a fellow the other day with phantom limb syndrome and obsessive compulsive disorder. He spends all day trying to wash a hand he doesn't even have anymore.

Th3DanMan: the date was good, but I woke up in a seedy motel, wearing nothing but a yankees hat, covered in someone else's pubic hair
Th3DanMan: it was so gross
Th3DanMan: so I took off the hat

If I make coffee, and then pour that coffee back into the coffee machine and brew new coffee using the original coffee instead of water, do I get 2 x coffee? Or coffee squared? And, after reading it 8 times in a row, doesn't the word coffee start to look funny?

Well, Bailey and I have been enjoying forcing the santa bot into some sticky situations, so why not send him an IM on AIM and join the fun? IM your funny stuff to me or leave it as a comment and I'll add it to this entry.

Bcguitar33: Wanna get liquored up and harass some minorities?
SantaClaus: You got it! That's great!

scor24pio: do you eat babies?
SantaClaus: Well, Mrs. Claus is a wonderful cook and I'll eat anything that she makes.


SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM and tonight is the big night! Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started.
So, have you been naughty or nice?
x pj rockstar x: naughty, oh very naughty Santa
x pj rockstar x: What else do you want me to streeeeetch, Santa?
SantaClaus: I think you know.


Bcguitar33: Why don't you look me in the eyes when we make love?
SantaClaus: Because (obviously) -- Christmas.


x pj rockstar x: hey santa!
SantaClaus: Hello.
x pj rockstar x: what's up
SantaClaus: Hey. Are you getting in the Christmas sprit?
x pj rockstar x: sprit?
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
x pj rockstar x: because you said it
x pj rockstar x: are you drunk Santa?
SantaClaus: Of course, I am real.

Bcguitar33: Santa, I need you to slap me like a ho.
SantaClaus: You see? Christmas can be full of miracles.


The aftermath:
x pj rockstar x: WHY AM I IN SANTA FONT
Bcguitar33: because santa is a VIRUS
Bcguitar33: every year it infects someone new then kills the old santa
Bcguitar33: YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO DELIVER THE PRESENTS THIS YEAR
x pj rockstar x: NOooooooooooooooooo
x pj rockstar x: ahhhhhhhhhhhhheitjkl
x pj rockstar x: I HAVE A BEARD
x pj rockstar x: transfermatino isa almost compleete
x pj rockstar x: let me take a picture
x pj rockstar x: with my fdij digital
x pj rockstar x: then I MUST GO DELIEVER PRESENT
*HICCUP*
x pj rockstar x:

SantaClaus: Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
scor24pio: you mean drunk?
SantaClaus: Santa always behaves nicely. Mrs. Claus won't have it any other way.
scor24pio: are you drunk now santa?
SantaClaus: Well, are you real? I'm here talking to you. Of course, I'm real.
scor24pio: but are you real drunk? you're evading the question
SantaClaus:
Of course I am real. As long as you believe in me, I will be real.
scor24pio: i believe that you're drunk
SantaClaus:
It makes me so happy to hear you believe!
scor24pio: do you believe in slavery santa?
SantaClaus: In you, of course!